Only Human
by Iamawritergirl
Summary: After a case went wrong, Emily is struggeling with herself. OneShot


**_Author´s note:_**

First of all thank you for stopping by taking the time to read this story. I just wanted to quickly say a few words myself, before letting you dive into this OneShot. The idea to the story came basically around the time when Demi Lovato published her new single "Sober". I was so touched by the lyrics and especially this one sentence stick in my mind and gave me chills everytime. When I came across some other storys here, I finaly wrote down, what was in my head. Now with the news that Demi was transferred to the hospital yesterday, I just somehow felt the need to publish this story.

I would love it, if you could leave a review, so that I can continue to improve myself.

So I think I´ve said enough. Have fun ! :)

* * *

 _ **Only Human**_

„ _I wanna be a role model, but I´m only human"_

 _Demi Lovato_

She knew she had failed. The death of the little girl was her responsibility. As soon as it was possible for her, she left the crime scene, ignoring the staring looks of her fellow colleges. She needed to be alone. The thoughts floated her brain, while she walked down the empty and dark streets in Machias, Main. She didn't stop until she reached the riverside and sat down. Tears were running down her face leaving strains in the small touch of Makeup she had put on earlier that day. She felt terrible and while starring on the water, she recapped the last few days.

It didn´t start off that bad, they quickly had a lead to their UnSub, but when the team finally got his name, he was nowhere to be found. They did everything they could and out of the blue Garcia came around with an address of an empty storage hall. And in just that storage hall everything escalated. She was the one to go and negotiate with their UnSub. She followed the profile, she tried to empathize, sympathize with him, giving him the feeling, that she was the one. The one in this world, who understood him. It didn´t work, he killed the girl and himself directly before her eyes. She failed. She didn´t knew how long she had been staring at the water, trying to forget everything that happened. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, she tensed.

"I hoped I would find you here," a deep male voice said to her.

She calmed but didn´t dare to look up. She knew exactly who was standing behind her and she was not quite sure how she should feel about the fact that he found her. His ringtone disturbed the silence, he quickly reached for it and his hand left her shoulder, to answer the phone.

"JJ?" he said and waited for a second before he replied to the question that was obviously asked. "Yes, I found her. Head to bed. Wheels Up tomorrow at 10. Goodnight."

He ended the call and came back to her. He sat down beside her, placed his hand on her tight, just above her knee. For the first time since she sat down, she raised her eyes to meet his. He was shocked at what he saw. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears were still streaming down her cheeks. Carefully he brought his hand to her face and wiped the tears away. She leaned in his touch, enjoying the feeling of his warm palm against her wet cheek.

"You know it´s not your fault." He said and broke of the silence that had reign over them since he found her at the riverside.

"Please", she whispered "You don´t have to do this Aaron. I can handle the truth. I know it was my fault. I should have been better. I should have tried harder. He wasn´t buying that I was the one who could understand him."

She started crying again. Harder as before. He simply pulled her in a hug. Tried to calm her, comfort and hold her, showing her that she was not alone in this battle.

"No Emily, please stop thinking that. The profile was slightly wrong, you could not know that he was freaking out like that, none of us could."

She let the words sink in, but didn´t respond. Aaron was at a loss. He didn´t know what to do, so he just held on to her. Every once and a while he just strokes through her hair mumbled comforting words into her ear and simply let her cry against his shoulder. Half through the night they sat in silence, enjoying each other's company and trying to forget.

"You know why I joined the FBI in the first place?" her otherwise strong voice sounded like a mouse pipping, so Aaron was not sure if it was her words or the sound of the wind.

"No, you never told me." He whispered, afraid to ruin the moment or even scare her if he raised his voice.

"I wanted to be strong, fighting the bad guy, saving people and make the life of the people I care about safer. I wanted to be a role model, someone people could look up to because I would be the one on the right side." Her words broke his heart, but he didn´t dare to interrupt her "Today, seeing this little girl dying made me realize, that I am never able to be that role model, because every time we go out to catch these people, humans have already been harmed."

He sighs: "We all have this feeling Emily, trust me. We are seen as heroes because they call us to save their little world. For the police officers, we seem to be the only one able to catch all these bad people, but in the end, we are all human. We´re only human and that´s okay. We aren´t born with superpowers, not even with this badge, we are all born equal. Wearing this badge just shows us, that we are strong. Maybe stronger than others, but it also shows us that we dedicated our lives to the people. We swore to protect them and that was a choice our heart made.", he paused and looked into her eyes before he continued "You yourself saved so many people, you took so many risks when you didn´t have to Emily. You are a role model for so many people out there. You´re a role model for the team. They admire your strength, your ability to connect with traumatized children, for seeing all this horror and still be the Emily that keeps this whole family together."

He took a deep breath "You are a role model to me. You show me daily that there is more to this life than work, that there is more on this earth than hate and death. And I just realized I never thanked you for that. So, thank you for being an amazing woman."

She stopped crying during his speech, but still didn´t say anything. She shivered.

"Common superwoman, let´s get back to the hotel."

She nodded and stood up, but instantly clutched to his side while his arms found their way automatically around her. They didn´t share a word on the way to the hotel, but when they saw the hotel appear on the horizon, she stopped them.

Her companion gave her a puzzled look, but she managed to give him a small smile:" Thank you Aaron."

" _Be the flame of fate, that torch of truth to guide our young people toward a better future for themselves and for this country."_

 _Michelle Obama._


End file.
